THE OLD GROUCH OF SHAGWONG

BY VITO ORLANDO

 

IT WAS AROUND MIDNIGHT WHEN HE ARRIVED ON THE SAND
GROUCHY AS EVER, GRAPHITE ROD IN HIS HAND
 
HE WAS STILL TELLING STORIES, LIKE ALL OTHER LIARS
BORING ALL THOSE POOR FISHERMEN LIVING AT ANN BREYERS'
 
ON WENT HIS WADERS AND THEN HIS GREEN TOP
BUT ON HIS VERY FIRST CAST, HIS LINE WENT POP
 
THE RESIDENTS OF BLOCK ISLAND WOULD LOVE HIM THIS NIGHT
AS FIVE MORE DARTERS WOULD TAKE A SIMILAR FLIGHT
 
ANOTHER BLUE AND WHITE DARTER SAILED OUT FROM THE BEACH
IT WAS THAT FAST MOVING RIP, THAT HE WAS TRYING TO REACH
 
TWO TURNS OF HIS REEL WAS MET WITH A SOLID BUMP
BUT THE FISH GOT AWAY FROM THAT FAT LITTLE HUMP
 
WITH THE KID TO HIS LEFT AND ME TO HIS RIGHT
THE CHUBBY OLD GROUCH WOULD GO FISHLESS THIS NIGHT
 
HIS STUBBY OLD BODY WAS HAVING TROUBLE IN THE SUDS
RESULTS OF HIS 68 YEARS AND ONE TOO MANY BUDS
 
ALL THOSE AROUND HIM HAD RODS BENT IN THE AIR
BUT FOR THE OLD GROUCH OF SHAGWONG, IT WOULD BE A NIGHT OF DESPAIR
 
AS THE NIGHT WORE ON HE WAS HAVING A FIT
HE MADE CAST AFTER CAST WITHOUT GETTING A HIT
 
THE BLITZ SOON TRICKLED DOWN TO A VERY SLOW PICK
BUT FOR THAT GROUCH TO CATCH A BASS THEY WOULD HAVE TO BE THICK
 
I OFFERED ENCOURAGEMENT, LIKE GOING TO MASS
OR TRY FISHING FOR TROUT, CAUSE YOU CAN'T CATCH A BASS
 
HIS RESPONSE WAS SWIFT, USING MANY A CHOICE WORD
AND EVEN AT THE LIGHTHOUSE, HIS VOICE COULD BE HEARD
 
WET AND TIRED AND WITH THE LOOK OF DOOM
HE DROVE THE RED LIZARD BACK TO HIS ROOM
 
GOING TO BED AFTER FAILING THE NIGHTS TEST
EVEN AN OLD WALRUS MUST HAVE SOME REST
 
THE MORAL OF THE STORY, ABOUT THIS FAT OLD ELF
IS IF YOU WANT TO FISH SHAGWONG, THEN GO BY YOURSELF!

 

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